Family emergency document: what to include and where

Here's a scenario nobody wants to think about. You're in a car accident on the way home from work. You're okay — but you're in the hospital for a few days, groggy from painkillers, unable to talk much. Your spouse is home with the kids, and the questions start piling up.

Where's the insurance card? Which policy covers the car, and which one covers you? When is the mortgage autopay? What's the login for the electric bill? Who is the pediatrician again — and what's their after-hours number?

This isn't about death. This is about the Tuesday night when your family suddenly needs to run everything without you, and they don't know where to start.

A family emergency document fixes that. It's a single place where someone who loves you can find the information they need to keep your household running, get you proper medical care, and avoid a hundred small crises stacking up on top of the big one.

Let me walk you through exactly what to put in it.

Why most families don't have one (and why it matters now)

Most of us assume our partner knows everything we know. And maybe they do — on a normal day. But emergency information planning falls apart under stress. The person who always handled the bills is the one in the hospital. The person who memorized the alarm code is the one who can't answer their phone.

I've talked to people who couldn't find their own health insurance policy number while their spouse was in surgery. People who didn't know the password to the family's bank account. A woman who couldn't pick up her stepchildren from school because she wasn't listed as an emergency contact.

None of these are life-or-death problems on their own. But they pile up fast, and they happen at the worst possible time.

A family emergency document isn't about being paranoid. It's about being kind. You're making it easier for the people you love to handle things when they're already scared and overwhelmed.

The information people always forget to write down

You probably already know to include the obvious stuff: Social Security numbers, insurance policy numbers, bank accounts. But the things that actually trip people up in an emergency are more mundane than that.

Here's what I mean.

Household basics your partner might not know:

WiFi network name and password
Alarm system code and the company's phone number
Where the water shutoff valve is
Where the circuit breaker is
Which neighbor has a spare key
Trash pickup day (seriously — it matters when someone's running on fumes)
How to work the thermostat, the sprinkler system, the garage door if it jams

Kid-specific information:

Pediatrician's name, number, and the portal login
School contact info and pickup procedures
List of who is authorized for pickup
Current medications and dosages, including which pharmacy
Allergies — not just food, but medications too
Tutors, therapists, coaches and their contact info
Carpool schedules and the other parents' numbers
What they eat for lunch when you're not there to ask (sounds silly until someone else is doing it for a week)

Pet care:

Vet's name and number
Current medications
Feeding schedule and brand of food
Where the leashes, carriers, and records are kept
Who to call if someone needs to take the pets temporarily

These are the details that live in one person's head. And when that person is suddenly unavailable, the gaps show up fast. If you want a more comprehensive walkthrough of what to include, we put together a guide to creating an emergency document that covers the full picture.

Financial and account information

This is the section people resist writing down, because it means putting sensitive numbers on paper (or a screen). I get it. But the alternative is your spouse spending three weeks on hold with customer service trying to prove they're allowed to access your accounts.

What to document:

Bank accounts: institution, account numbers, login info or at least how to reach them
Credit cards: which ones exist, which ones have autopay set up, and what bills are linked to each
Mortgage or rent: who the lender or landlord is, the account number, when it's due
Car loans or leases: lender info and payment details
Student loans: servicer and login
Utilities: electric, gas, water, internet, phone — which ones are on autopay and which need manual payment
Subscriptions: the ones that actually matter (the ones your kids will notice if they disappear)
Retirement accounts and investment accounts: where they are and who the advisor is, if you have one
Life insurance policies: company, policy number, and how to file a claim

You don't need to put every password in the document itself. But you do need to tell someone where to find them. A password manager with a shared emergency access feature works well. A sealed envelope in a safe works too. The point is that the path to the information exists and someone other than you knows it.

For more on this, our article on safely storing important documents for emergency access goes deep on the storage side.

Medical information that could save your life

If you're unconscious in an ER, the doctors need to know what they're working with. Your spouse might know your blood type and daily medications, but there's a lot more that matters in a medical emergency.

For each family member, document:

Full legal name and date of birth
Blood type
Current medications with dosages and prescribing doctor
Allergies — medications, food, latex, anything relevant
Chronic conditions: diabetes, asthma, heart conditions, autoimmune disorders
Past surgeries and hospitalizations
Primary care doctor, specialists, dentist, eye doctor
Health insurance: company, policy number, group number, member ID
Preferred hospital (especially if you have a preference based on your insurance network)
Advance directive or healthcare power of attorney, if you have one — and where the original is kept

This isn't something most people can recite from memory for every family member. Writing it down once means it's there when someone needs it at 2 a.m.

Legal documents and where to find them

You don't need to include the full text of your will in a family emergency document. But you absolutely need to tell someone where it is, and who to contact about it.

Note the location of:

Wills and trusts
Power of attorney documents
Healthcare directives or living wills
Birth certificates, marriage certificate, divorce decree if applicable
Passports and Social Security cards
Vehicle titles
Property deeds
The name and contact information of your attorney, if you have one
The name of your accountant or tax preparer

If these documents are in a safe deposit box, your family needs to know which bank, where the key is, and who has access. If they're in a fireproof safe at home, they need the combination. Sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised how often this becomes a scavenger hunt during a crisis.

We wrote an entire post about the documents families need after a loss, and most of those same documents are the ones people scramble for in any emergency — not just a death.

How to actually organize and store this

A family emergency document that sits in a folder on your laptop, locked behind a password no one else knows, is not much better than having no document at all.

Here's what works:

Keep it in two places. A printed copy in a known, accessible spot at home (a binder in a specific drawer, a folder in the filing cabinet) and a digital copy somewhere your partner can access independently. Cloud storage with shared access, a password manager with emergency contacts, or a platform built specifically for this purpose — whatever you'll actually use.

Tell at least two people it exists. Your spouse or partner, obviously. But also one other trusted person — a sibling, a parent, a close friend. Not to give them access to everything, but so they know the document exists and where to find it if your partner is also incapacitated.

Review it once a year. Pick a date that's easy to remember. Your anniversary, the start of the school year, tax day. Set a calendar reminder. The document only works if it's current. New insurance plan? Update it. Changed banks? Update it. Kid started a new medication? Update it.

Don't overthink the format. A Google Doc works. A Word document works. A notebook works. The best format is the one you'll actually fill out and keep updated. Don't let the perfect system be the enemy of having something written down at all.

If you want to think more carefully about where and how to store sensitive information, this piece on securely storing information for loved ones breaks it down.

Start with 30 minutes this weekend

You don't have to build the perfect family emergency document in one sitting. Start with the things that would cause the most chaos if you disappeared for a week. For most families, that's the financial autopay schedule, the kids' medical info, and the insurance details.

Then add to it over time. Keep a running note on your phone, and whenever you think "my partner doesn't know this," write it down. Transfer it to the document later.

The goal isn't a binder that covers every scenario. The goal is that if something happened to you tonight, the person picking up the pieces wouldn't have to guess about the basics.

That's not morbid. That's love showing up in a practical, quiet way.

When I Die Files gives you a secure, private space to write the letters that matter most — and make sure they reach the right people at the right time.